Life Unboxed Blog
Life Unboxed Blog
Following Your Dream Is Overrated: Why Reality Is Even Sweeter
Following your dream sounds nice. It is a piece of advice we like to offer to recent graduates, and we like to think we are following it. But is following your dream really good advice?
We have an unrealistic expectation. If we just follow our dreams, we find what we are looking for. We have to pursue our dreams no matter the cost. This is idea is so wrong because it usually leads to debt (massive student loans), unrealistic expectations, and a loss of opportunity.
That's why I like to revisit this topic. Mom, when we keep doing the same things again and again. It can feel like we aren't doing enough. We get caught in the mundane tasks of working from home and homeschooling, we start to diminish what we do.
Mom, let me tell you what you are doing is changing the world. I know when we are focused on the everyday tasks, it doesn't feel that way. But you are giving your kids the greatest gift possible, you. Giving them your time, energy, and heart will change the world.
Let’s explore the reality of following your dream and pursue the fulfilling journey of reality.
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RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW:
Chasing Your Dreams
Mike Rowe on Passion
From Corporate Workhorse to Stay at Home Mom
Create the Life You Love
Secret to Success
Journals and Notebooks for Mom + Homeschool Resources: https://geni.us/Jodiethemom
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Following your dream sounds nice. It is a piece of advice we like to offer to recent graduates, and we like to think we are following it. But is following your dream really good advice?
I really despise this advice because it is deceiving and it isn’t practical. We rarely pause to ask the question what does following your dream actually look like? Can it really be done? Am I failing if I don’t follow my dreams? https://lifeunboxed.blog/chasing-your-dream-part-2-lets-change-what-it-means/
Our culture often paints the idea of following your dream as the ultimate path to fulfillment, but real life tends to throw us more curves than our dreams can predict.
We have an unrealistic expectation. If we just follow our dreams, we find what we are looking for. We have to pursue our dreams no matter the cost. This is idea is so wrong because it usually leads to debt (massive student loans), unrealistic expectations, and a loss of opportunity.
That's why I like to revisit this topic. Mom, when we keep doing the same things again and again. It can feel like we aren't doing enough. We get caught in the mundane tasks of working from home and homeschooling, we start to diminish what we do.
Mom, let me tell you what you are doing is changing the world. I know when we are focused on the everyday tasks, it doesn't feel that way. But you are giving your kids the greatest gift possible, you. Giving them your time, energy, and heart will change the world.
Let’s explore the reality of following your dream and pursue the fulfilling journey of reality.
The Pressure of Following Your Dream
The idea of following your dream has really been romanticized because it comes with the promise of making you happy. It's like finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. If I can chase it long enough to find out, then I will be happy.
The problem with this, it is just not true. Mike Rowe said, "The pat advice to follow your passion https://mikerowe.com/2009/02/passion-can-be-fickle/ has led to more disappointment than virtually any other platitude I've seen."
Mom, we've been sold a lie. It is an unrealistic expectation to think that following your dream is going to satisfy you or bring contentment.
From a young age, we are encouraged to pursue our passions without considering the realistic challenges that come with them. Because we are kids, so we don't know what reality looks like. Whether it's being told to shoot for the stars or never give up on your dreams, there is pressure to constantly strive for an ideal version of life that may not exist.
Think back to your what you wanted to be when you were a teenager. Are you doing that now? Would you even want to do it?
You can find contentment in the dream you are living.
Reality is Better than Following Your Dream
Your dreams can change. That is the missing piece from all inspiring speeches of following your dreams. No one talks about the evolution of our dreams or passions.
One of the reasons our dreams change is we get older. We gain more wisdom, and we see more of the world. All of these things bring us to maturity, and our dreams change because we are more informed.
Life is unpredictable. The pursuit of a single dream can start to feel out of reach or even irrelevant over time. You may spend years following your dream, only to face unplanned obstacles like financial constraints, health issues, or changing family dynamics. Yet, clinging to a dream in the face of life's inherent uncertainty can cause frustration and lead to a sense of failure.
Our dreams often don’t account for the fact that we change as individuals. The dreams we have in our 20s may not serve us in our 40s. Life is fluid, and what we once thought would bring happiness might no longer resonate with who we are today.
I could always picture myself in a successful business woman in a high-powered suit working in New York City. And I was. Then I had my first baby and everything changed. My dream wasn't to make it in New York City anymore. It changed to wanting to leave, so we could raise our family outside of the hustle and bustle of the city.
In an instant, I had something better to pursue. Read more on my story from corporate workhorse to stay at home mom. https://lifeunboxed.blog/hello-moms-my-story-from-corporate-workhorse-to-momtrepreneur/
Redefining Your Success
We view success as a final destination. If you can just stay on the train long enough, you will finally end up at success. And if you're following your dream, then you will definitely be successful. Which usually translates to a bigger house, bigger car, and bigger bank account.
There is nothing wrong with these things being a goal, although they can quickly lead you off the rails, but following your dream doesn't guarantee it will happen.
Sometimes creating the life you love https://lifeunboxed.blog/creating-the-life-you-love/ doesn't always pay the bills. And that means we need to redefine the idea of success. It isn't always a bigger house, bigger car, or bigger bank account.
If following your dream has gone off the rails, then it is time to take a hard look at it. It is possible to have the life you love and be successful. It just means you need to redefine what success looks like for you.
For me, I am measuring my success in time. My house fits us great. I already drive a 12-passenger van, so I can't get much bigger than that. It would be nice to go on epic vacations every year, but every now and again works for us. The most important thing to me is time with my kids and buying curriculum. That's a big one.
I want to be the biggest influence in their lives. To be here to answer their deep questions and give advice. I want to be the one to mold their minds, so they know how to learn. My success is measured in the time I'm able to give to them.
Yes, I still work from home, but I also limit the hours. I am not looking to explode my team or put more hours into my business. That isn't how I define success.
We are fully embracing our rebel mom https://www.facebook.com/groups/rebelmomsclub side.
How do you need to redefine success? What is the secret to success? https://youtu.be/hOl4iw89sYI
Embrace Your Life Now Even if You Couldn’t Dream it Up
When you were a teenager thinking about your next steps, you were limited to your knowledge at the time. You were also influenced by the people around you and culture. Most of the time culture is telling you to get a career, wear the high-powered business suit, and work in the city. So that's where your thinking lead.
Sometimes we get stuck thinking that if we aren't living our teenage dream, then we've failed. Guess what following your dream can change. Now you are more informed about what's out there and the life you actually want to live.
Embrace your life now, even if it wasn't part of your teenage dream life.
I never thought I would have six kids. The trajectory of my life was to be a lawyer, then get married and have kids. Let's just say things didn't happen that way, and I am loving the life I could never dream up.
My kids are my greatest legacy. Yes, I know, the hard part about being a mom is success is measured by how well they leave you. The goal is to work myself out of this job. When that happens, then I will embrace another part of my life that I couldn't dream up.
Conclusion: Following Your Dream
Fulfillment and contentment come when we are open to various paths, not just following your dream that we envisioned as children. Often, we limit ourselves by focusing solely on one dream, missing out on the countless other ways we can achieve a meaningful and rewarding life.
The truth is, many people find their true calling not by following a pre-determined dream, but by exploring different opportunities that come their way. When we let go of rigid expectations, we create space to live our best unimagined life.
In the end, reality is where life truly unfolds, and it is often far richer and more fulfilling than following your dream. While chasing dreams https://lifeunboxed.blog/chasing-your-dreams-part-1-challenging-the-accepted-idea/ can offer motivation and direction, the true sweetness of life lies in the everyday moments, the unexpected turns, and the resilience we build along the way. By embracing reality and letting go of rigid dreams, we open ourselves to a fuller, more meaningful life.
Join the rebel mom's club https://www.facebook.com/groups/rebelmomsclub and connect with other working homeschool moms.