Life Unboxed Blog
Life Unboxed Blog
How To Set Personal Boundaries For A Better Work Life Balance
Personal boundaries is always a hot topic amongst work from home moms. But it doesn’t mean it is easy to do.
One of my biggest peeves is posts that suggest an idea without giving practical steps on how to do it. This post is going to give you all the actionable steps on how to set personal boundaries for your work from home and homeschool life.
We are going to explore the idea, and you will also walk away with a bunch of how-tos to get started on defining your own personal boundaries.
Show notes and links: https://lifeunboxed.blog/personal-boundaries/
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RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW:
Balancing Working from Home and Homeschooling
Mom Overwhelm
How to Handle a Difficult Client
Take a Break
Mom Mental Self-Care
To Do List Notebook
Spill the Tea Notebook
Virtual Assistant Contract
Journals and Notebooks for Mom + Homeschool Resources
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Personal boundaries is always a hot topic amongst work from home moms. But it doesn’t mean it is easy to do.
One of my biggest peeves is posts that suggest an idea without giving practical steps on how to do it. This post is going to give you all the actionable steps on how to set personal boundaries for your work from home and homeschool life.
We are going to explore the idea, and you will also walk away with a bunch of how-tos to get started on defining your own personal boundaries.
There is a precarious balance to working from home and homeschooling. https://lifeunboxed.blog/work-life-balance It can be challenging. The lines between work, homeschooling, and regular mom stuff can blur. This can lead to stress, burnout, and mom overwhelm. https://lifeunboxed.blog/mom-brain-decision-fatigue
Setting personal boundaries is going to help unblur the lines and create a more harmonious balance between all your roles.
The Need for Personal Boundaries
There are twenty-four hours in a day. Everyone has the same amount of time. This is a currency we spend. Once it is spent, we won’t get it back. You can spend frivolously, like an impulse shopper, or you can invest your capital wisely.
This doesn’t happen with a wave of the magic wand or with a lot of wishful thinking. It takes intentional planning, trial and error, and pivoting to find what works.
In order to spend our currency well, we need to set boundaries on ourselves, kids, and clients. Or we will just be spending willy-nilly and never reaching a destination or a goal.
I heard a quote years ago that has always stayed with me: “If we don’t plan our lives, someone else will plan it for us.” I confess, I’ve been at the mercy of other people planning my life for me. Or at least staking claim to way too much of my time. It has taken years to break out of this habit. And I’m not talking about my family or kids, they have a right to my time.
I’m talking about outside forces that demand your time beyond what you’ve agreed to. If you want to be your own boss, be the queen of your schedule, and control your time, then you need to create personal boundaries.
I know the thoughts going through your head. If I’m not available, then a client will drop me. It could be important. On and on the thoughts go. Mom, if you want to maintain your sanity and keep the balls you are juggling in the air, then you need to create boundaries.
The Benefits of Personal Boundaries
Creating and maintaining personal boundaries for yourself, your kids, and your clients will improve a lot of things. Yes, it will help with your stress levels, but it goes beyond stress.
- Improved productivity
Defining work hours and school hours is going to help you focus during those times. Yes, things come up, that will interrupt or hijack your routine. As long as these are the exceptions and not the rules it's ok.
When you know what your limits are, you can use your time more effectively.
2. Better relationships
It is ok to put boundaries on your clients. If you are working with a difficult client, https://lifeunboxed.blog/client-from-hell/ and your boundaries aren't being respected, then you need to drop them. There are too many good people to work with.
You need to communicate your boundaries, for example your office hours. What days and times are you available. If a client calls during those off hours (sometimes people forget), and you don't answer your phone, they will remember you aren't available right now.
Then you don't feel guilty for not picking up, and your client also knows it was outside normal hours. It is a win-win for everyone.
You will feel respected, and your client will know clearly why you aren't answering the phone.
3. Overall well-being
Setting boundaries is going to help you create a space for breaks. Mom, sometimes we just need to take a break https://lifeunboxed.blog/take-a-break to improve our perspective. Or to get a different perspective. You can't do that if you are constantly on or available.
Your physical and mental health are the greatest assets you have. Creating personal boundaries is going to give you space for rest, relaxation, and creativity to improve your mental self-care. https://lifeunboxed.blog/creative-life/
The First Step to Setting Personal Boundaries
You know that you need to set personal boundaries to lower your stress, improve your mental self-care, and to be more productive. But how do you start to identify them.
1. Assess your current circumstances
Identify your must dos, get tos, and want to dos.
Your must dos are things that need to happen regardless of how you feel about it. You need to do schoolwork with your kids. Client work needs to get done. The expectation to be fed needs to be met. These are all the things you can't avoid.
The get tos are things that you need to do, but there is some flexibility with the timeframe and deadline. There isn't an urgency to these things.
There are always things that we want to do. They may not be a top priority or even add monetary value to your life. It is just something that you would like to do, and these are important.
Write these down in a notebook https://www.amazon.com/stores/Jodie-the-Mom/author/B097RQRRQ1 Writing things down helps to bring clarity to your situation. Instead of feeling all sorts of feeling you can assess the reality of your circumstances.
2. In what areas are you feeling overwhelmed?
Yes, writing things down helps to bring clarity, but it doesn't negate your feelings of overwhelm. It may bring the level of overwhelm down, but we're moms it never completely removed.
In what areas do you feel the most overwhelmed? Identify so you can deal with them.
3. Stress triggers
What triggers your stress. The need to set personal boundaries comes from feelings of overwhelm and stress. What stresses you out? Is it constant interruptions, lack of time, overwhelming workloads.
Think through these stress triggers and write them down. https://www.amazon.com/Spill-Tea-Jodie-Mom/dp/B0DBDSQYL8
5 Must-Know Strategies to Set Personal Boundaries
You've identified the areas where you need personal boundaries, now let's get into the practical how-to of it all.
- Setting Work and School Hours
This is probably the easiest one to start. Have work hours for yourself. Start school at the same time every day. This will eliminate the stress of feeling like you need to be on call all the time with clients. Also, you can plan for kids interrupting during school hours.
The kids always my priority, but that doesn't mean I don't tell them to wait or hold on. Patience is a virtue that we all need to learn, so think of it as hands-on life skills. Since they start school at the same time every day, I know when I will be interrupted for school. This helps me to plan my client tasks accordingly.
A work from home job is great. No more commuting, and I can work in my pjs. The downside of working from home is I'm always at work. For me that means I'm constantly on. Through the years, I've learned that I need to set work hours. I can't hang a closed sign on a door, but once my computer is shut off I'm closed.
It also means I don't answer phone calls after a certain time. Yes, I've had difficult clients https://lifeunboxed.blog/client-from-hell/ that called me at 10 at night, which led me to include office hours in my virtual assistant contract. https://lifeunboxed.blog/freelancer-contract
Being on all the time only increases the feelings of stress and overwhelm. Set office hours so you have a time to switch off and your clients know when you are off.
2. Resist Responding
This is a hard one, especially with email and internet in the palm of our hands. I do have work emails on my phone because emergencies do happen. Now, if they are happening all the time that is a problem, but there are rare occasions when you need to access your email.
Here is my super-secret tip. I have two email apps on my phone. One is for personal email and the other one is for work email only. I never look at my work email on my phone, unless is it the rare emergency. It is available, but the wall of separation removes the temptation to just check it real quick.
It is ok to not answer the phone. Or to not respond to an email or text. Almost everything can wait until you are back in the office.
Give yourself permission to not respond immediately.
3. Saying no
I know we want to do all the field trips and all the things. But we have a limited amount of time in our day, and we just can't say yes to everything.
The hard reality is that we have to say no. It is ok to turn down a project or not go on a field trip. Go back to those things that are important to you. If a project or field trip doesn't fall into one of your to dos, then just say no.
4. Set Expectations
Setting expectations and communicating helps to minimize stress. Be clear on your expectations with your kids and your clients.
I expect 80% on schoolwork. This expectation is clear. It is also clear that we will keep working on a lesson until this can be achieved. My kids aren't surprised when I had something back to them with a re-do note. They know the expectation.
For my clients, I don't have office hours on Fridays. Occasionally, I've made an exception when it was requested in advance, and I was covering a vacation. For the most part, I never work on a Friday. Everyone knows this. There are no surprises, when I'm not responding to emails or answering phones.
It also frees up my brain space. I can turn my work brain off and focus on all those must dos.
5. Create a Routine
Along with the time constraints to our days, we also have time constraints to our brains. If you brain space is taken up with mundane tasks, there is very little room for creative thinking.
I want my brain thinking about the next journal or book to create. https://www.amazon.com/stores/Jodie-the-Mom/author/B097RQRRQ1 Not whether the kids remembered to change their underwear. As moms, our brains get cluttered with all these mundane tasks that are important, but still don't inspire creative thinking.
How do we free up brain space, minimize overwhelm, and get it all done? The answer is create a routine.
Creating a routine as seriously been the secret sauce to getting it all done. I am so serious about it that I even put it into a mini course. https://payhip.com/b/xmP9D Mom, you don't have to be stressed out and overwhelmed every day. There is a way to minimize these things and get it all done.
Conclusion: Setting Personal Boundaries—Just Say No to Stress and Overwhelm
Mom, setting personal boundaries with your work from home job and homeschooling is going to give you the day you always dreamed about. Ditch the stress and the overwhelm.
Create your dream day! And it starts with a routine. https://payhip.com/b/xmP9D